We met in Richmond, Indiana at the Cracker Barrel Restaurant where Lisa ordered her favorite food -- chicken and dumplings. I ordered the sampler platter and only liked the Chicken and Dumplings. Our lunch felt comfortable, like we had met many times before. Lisa shared with me the details of her reunion with her brother who too loves chicken and dumplings. Lisa also shared with me the many difficulties she has experienced while searching and processing new information she has learned during reunion. Details aren't important for this blog; however, it was so nice to be able to speak freely with another adopted person about our struggles growing up adopted, how we began to heal and search, and laugh about how God is Great, Beer is Good and People are Crazy!
After lunch, we drove to the Antique Mall in Centerville, Indiana and spent a few hours browsing the never ending shelves of antiques. We giggled and just walked down memory lane as we saw different toys from our childhoods and commented on how many of our relatives owned these trinkets at one time or another. We managed to spend hours shopping without buying one single thing!
Today I am reflecting on what makes it so easy to be able to talk to another adoptee and I had also thought back to all the adoptees I have known personally over my lifetime. Here are some common traits I have noticed in adoptees:
Laid back and easy to talk to
Will call bullshit when we see it
We are not trying to be somebody we are not
We go our own separate way than our adoptive families while still loving our families
Are fun to hang out with!
Ok, so maybe I'm a little biased, but that is what I've seen amongst adopted people I know.
The greatest thing in my opinion about hanging out and talking with other adoptees, and Lisa was no exception, is that you can speak freely about your adoption, share both positive and negative feelings, the good, bad, and ugly aspects of reunion without having to explain or answer a ton of questions.
No need for explanation as to "Why are you searching? or "What does your adoptive mother think about you searching?
That is the beauty of hanging out with a fellow adopted person.
THEY JUST GET IT!
I am posting a recent interview that Lisa did documenting her struggles growing up adopted. She is able to truly verbalize these struggles in a way that many adoptees cannot so not only do I admire Lisa for her honesty, but by speaking out she is helping other adoptees and adoptive parents understand what it feels like growing up in our shoes.