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Showing posts from May, 2014

The Bad Baby Syndrome (Adoption covers the wound of Relinquishment)

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*based on the lecture of Dr. Paul Sunderland Adoptees can easily be tipped into catastrophic thinking (due to what felt like a life-threatening wound/trauma of relinquishment): These wounds have their roots in Shame and Anxiety (which underpin all addictions) Anxiety tells us: The world is not a safe place They will kick you when you are down Better not tell it (don't be vulnerable) If you want to get it done, do it yourself Keep yourself to yourself Don't show who you really are "Everybody needs some anxiety.  But people with early psychological wounds, have anxiety in bucketfuls." Shame tells us: I'm not good enough It's the bad baby. I'm unworthy.   I'm unlovable.   I'm flawed There's something wrong with me. I better not tell anybody. How do I need to be in order to be accepted because being me isn't o.k These feelings are consistent with both addicts and ADOPTEES who seek professional assistance. Al