tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8950217803502790967.comments2024-03-13T03:27:17.972-07:00Lynn GrubbUnknownnoreply@blogger.comBlogger847125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8950217803502790967.post-25328624122388546792023-01-22T00:58:12.146-08:002023-01-22T00:58:12.146-08:00So very true. Thank you for highlighting this for ...So very true. Thank you for highlighting this for so many of us.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8950217803502790967.post-42530051816317699662022-12-27T06:56:39.489-08:002022-12-27T06:56:39.489-08:00I identify with your experience Adoptee Rage. Mine...I identify with your experience Adoptee Rage. Mine was similar. My biological mother was abused and became a victim. She came from a violent and feral background. My bio father was an oversexed creep and fathered many children with many women. They both died young much to my relief as that prevented me from having to meet them. I was the result of a brief sexual interlude. I was put up for adoption at birth. My adoptive parents were abusive and never let me forget in ways confusing to a child that I was rescued from the gutter where I belonged. They were in their late 40s when they adopted me. My only defence against them was my rage and violence towards them. They became terrified of me. This was not a victory for me as rage and violence has been the way I deal with people who seem to threaten me or get too close. Every relationship I have had has been compromised or a failure and that includes my children. I have met several of my half siblings from both my maternal and paternal side (they had multiple partners in their short lives) and I don't get on with any of them. They perceive me as lucky to have escaped from their miserable lives of poverty and hardship. I have come to the conclusion that an adoptee can't find peace of mind anywhere. Adoption taught me hate and rage. Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8950217803502790967.post-36682124234136316362022-11-29T18:53:00.998-08:002022-11-29T18:53:00.998-08:00I think that Law enforcement needs to look at thei...I think that Law enforcement needs to look at their well check policies also. Stated safe than sorry. So sry sad.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8950217803502790967.post-84084672261819225252022-08-10T17:24:14.719-07:002022-08-10T17:24:14.719-07:00elf on a shelf. thank you for writing this. this...elf on a shelf. thank you for writing this. this root link with objectification could possibly be why i have pursued objectifiers and the impossible task of ... gosh. so much. well, i hope it isn't seeking their approval, certainly seeking their healing. i think it is seeking to be seen as more than an object. first, i need to see myself that way.coyotegalshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15309285842610376907noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8950217803502790967.post-73526297425103508452022-08-05T04:54:23.270-07:002022-08-05T04:54:23.270-07:00Great post. This is really good. Thanks for sharin...Great post. This is really good. Thanks for sharing this information. Keep sharing.<br /><a href="https://www.famups.com/buy-spotify-plays" rel="nofollow"> buy Spotify plays</a>kaaya dsouzahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/12911270657925713876noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8950217803502790967.post-48179711386232399512022-08-03T18:25:07.820-07:002022-08-03T18:25:07.820-07:00Thanks for addressing this so thoroughly - for sur...Thanks for addressing this so thoroughly - for sure it is a huge task for Adoptees to tackle - (although everyone has to do it to some degree) Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8950217803502790967.post-20343586187477984572022-05-29T20:15:34.551-07:002022-05-29T20:15:34.551-07:00Hey, Lynn - Is the event at 7 eastern, mountain or...Hey, Lynn - Is the event at 7 eastern, mountain or Pacific time?<br />I am going to try to attend.www.elainepinkerton.wordpress.comhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02534957817686681953noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8950217803502790967.post-63703551736548190572022-04-30T03:39:37.003-07:002022-04-30T03:39:37.003-07:00I must say, I thought this was a pretty interestin...I must say, I thought this was a pretty interesting read when it comes to thisC topic. Liked the material. . .<br /><br /><a href="https://www.classactionlawyertn.com/one-wheel-skateboard.html" rel="nofollow">Skateboard-Lawyer</a>Jofraarcherahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04172345691504743112noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8950217803502790967.post-86187350067530336182022-02-03T14:36:38.262-08:002022-02-03T14:36:38.262-08:00Hi Lynn, I can relate to all you have said in your...Hi Lynn, I can relate to all you have said in your article, and whole heartedly agree that it was a form of trafficking, but not only that - closed adoption was also a violation of basic human rights. <br /><br />I'm a victim of the abhorrent practise of closed adoption. Only now at 56 yrs old it is hitting me hard about how much of my life has been negatively impacted by being adopted. PTSD, depression and anxiety throughout has stopped me from developing my self, and my career. <br /><br />I am angry about it all. Very angry. I think that governments should be made accountable for the life they have subjected me to, and i mourn copiously for the life I could have had and who I could've become.<br /><br />Adoption has stifled me, through no fault of my own. I was stripped of my basic human rights at birth. The right to live a life of dignity, and the right to know my lineage, heritage, and culture of where I was from. And the people who have given me my adoption records have redacted some of the information written by a social worker about my adoptive mother. This is a total violation of my rights to know my truth. No matter if it is good or bad, I need to know my truth. I am currently writing to our Human rights commissioner and "the powers that be" to get that information un-redacted, as it is causing me deep mental anguish and anger.<br /> <br /><br />I will bookmark your blog and keep following along. Many thanks for putting your thoughts out there for everyone to see. xoxo <br />Anonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14295004614309810529noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8950217803502790967.post-31625275181198456412022-01-30T05:27:36.244-08:002022-01-30T05:27:36.244-08:00Very well written but for some reason it brings up...Very well written but for some reason it brings up so many emotions I don't want to deal with this early in the morning. Perhaps later...Anonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15558706659817839251noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8950217803502790967.post-84602930268406452862021-12-04T12:26:14.687-08:002021-12-04T12:26:14.687-08:00Thanks, Lynn!Thanks, Lynn!Mary Ellen Gambuttihttps://megam-author.comnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8950217803502790967.post-58877000818167079382021-11-30T08:47:23.399-08:002021-11-30T08:47:23.399-08:00Yes. Very well stated, Lynn, if not a tad triggeri...Yes. Very well stated, Lynn, if not a tad triggering. I agree to the importance, the vital need, to the adoption community for Action. Thank you for your voice.Mary Ellen Gambuttihttps://megam-author.comnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8950217803502790967.post-90834756385047374932021-11-30T08:29:08.996-08:002021-11-30T08:29:08.996-08:00Yes, yes, yes to every word, Lynn!!!Yes, yes, yes to every word, Lynn!!!Beth Steuryhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05989061117567568466noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8950217803502790967.post-7008842008253008802021-10-19T03:03:54.176-07:002021-10-19T03:03:54.176-07:00It is so very valuable that you have put this idea...It is so very valuable that you have put this idea into words into the public domain. Eloquently and logically written, you will save many adoptees years of soil searching. Narcissism can br hard to understand and accept. Well done!!Anonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15817756679657701723noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8950217803502790967.post-47585340530998625302021-10-14T05:54:05.305-07:002021-10-14T05:54:05.305-07:00👏👏👏👏👏👏Ruth Ann, SC Adopteehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05227634061365295917noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8950217803502790967.post-35392792274740831842021-10-07T19:13:12.992-07:002021-10-07T19:13:12.992-07:00Hmmm as an adopted minority of an upper working cl...Hmmm as an adopted minority of an upper working class to middle class white family with the dad being the narcissist I can confirm that this is really accurateAnonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/12031977296899289186noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8950217803502790967.post-60220793033007588102021-09-29T09:58:37.699-07:002021-09-29T09:58:37.699-07:00Lynn, I enjoyed this. I cannot say I've grieve...Lynn, I enjoyed this. I cannot say I've grieved for my bio parents--both were deceased by the time I figured out who they were--but I remember weeping while writing about my birth mother's impoverished childhood. I haven't encountered any genealogists who were anything less than pleasant, and many were helpful, but perhaps I would have received the cold shoulder if any of the genealogists were half-sibs or first cousins. Do you really believe your cousin would lie about your bio dad's death just to make you go away once and for all? Lynnehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17228390641126528402noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8950217803502790967.post-50075465287674672282021-09-26T23:45:09.556-07:002021-09-26T23:45:09.556-07:00I realized I was adopted in my late 30's. My f...I realized I was adopted in my late 30's. My family still refuse to acknowledge this. I attempted to get information twice from state records and ended up having to explain myself to mental health authorities. This was instigated by my abusive family. <br />I searched and searched the internet for how this could happen. That is-how could I be adopted and not know. How could I not be able to access my information? Why wouldn't other people tell me?<br />I discovered after years of searching and a lot of lies that contact information can be blocked in my state-not in US and that this destruction is in place FOREVER for me and those like me... <br />I feel very angry about this and think about it every day. <br />I feel hated by my family and by the government. <br />Currently I have no reunion rights to my biological family because some refuse this. And I have no right to over ride this UNLESS I legally discharge the adoption in the highest court in my state. I eventually intend to do this. <br />I am a first nations person which I also found out during this search for my identity. <br />I know who my birth parents are though as that little gem was dropped to me in the course of the lies....My Dad died over 10 years ago and I have known my mother all my life under another name. I don't like her. <br />Recently I found myself in tears over Father's Day as I thought about all the Father's Days I missed over 40 years with the Dad I hadn't seen since I was a month old. <br />There is no support here for people like me really so I do just as you have said. Acknowledge my feelings and take my emotional wellbeing as my top priority. I do this everyday too. <br />No-one can really understand the betrayal of this situation unless you have lived through it yourself. I wouldn't wish this on anyone else EVER. <br />I have PTSD and struggle a lot in my life. There is no doubt in my mind that the way my adoption was handled contributed to this situation. <br />The one thing I do know is humans can live through almost anything and I am testament to that. I know I am strong and tough. I have had to be to make it this far. And I intend to discharge my adoption after my adoptive mother dies. I want my original birth certificate with my birth Dad's name. I am not fatherless. And then I will have the proof. <br />I am not including my name although I would like to as I am afraid of blow-back for my honesty. <br />Wishing the community of other adoptees well out there. Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8950217803502790967.post-23821931568096115082021-09-18T16:48:24.090-07:002021-09-18T16:48:24.090-07:00This is so perfect in every way! Know that you hav...This is so perfect in every way! Know that you have been and always will be legit in your searching for bio family. You didn't break any laws. People yrs ago did not know that DNA discoveries were coming, but oh well...Karma rules!Paige Adams Stricklandhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00581465241800520405noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8950217803502790967.post-92161520508266521722021-09-16T14:19:52.905-07:002021-09-16T14:19:52.905-07:00It's so sad never to get answers to your quest...It's so sad never to get answers to your questions. I hope you were able to get a photo of your father from your cousin. eileengaskell58https://www.blogger.com/profile/04440185681486688587noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8950217803502790967.post-64965897921565760642021-09-16T14:19:06.087-07:002021-09-16T14:19:06.087-07:00It's so sad never to have your questions answe...It's so sad never to have your questions answered. I hope you were able to get a photo of your father. eileengaskell58https://www.blogger.com/profile/04440185681486688587noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8950217803502790967.post-75778709581786668302021-09-16T13:13:43.216-07:002021-09-16T13:13:43.216-07:00Lynn, you express this deep tangle of emotions so ...Lynn, you express this deep tangle of emotions so beautifully. Thank you.Ruth Ann, SC Adopteehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05227634061365295917noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8950217803502790967.post-48735443298277264072021-09-01T07:14:05.775-07:002021-09-01T07:14:05.775-07:00This comment has been hidden from the blog.Lynn Grubbhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03625232736677568850noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8950217803502790967.post-61317546277388833852021-08-20T07:17:17.407-07:002021-08-20T07:17:17.407-07:00Adult adoptee of a narc adoptive mother and spinel...Adult adoptee of a narc adoptive mother and spineless father. I was abused and humiliated thru my childhood by my adoptive mother while everyone sat and watched because she wanted to adopt me so I belonged to her and everyone else busted turned a blind eye. I came into a an all white family of people who didn’t want me and as a biracial girl was immediately moved to an all white town. I suffer in so many ways to this day. I went no contact with that family so that I could begin to heal. That was 32 years ago. I still struggle with an enormous amount of shame and low self esteem. My adoptive mother still talks badly about me I hear thru the grapevine. I turned from a quiet shy honor roll student into a person who is very friendly and talkative, hardworking over achiever who on the outside seems very accomplished but on the inside is extremely insecure and who believes not only that I don’t deserve anything but that no one could ever love me. I am unable to have an intimate relationship and have actually never really had a real relationship with anyone of the opposite sex or anyone for that matter. Thank you for your article the validation means so much to us.jambeedoghttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10778312029885822557noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8950217803502790967.post-42024494695272506712021-08-07T19:28:36.840-07:002021-08-07T19:28:36.840-07:00This comment has been hidden from the blog.Tracy Porconoreply@blogger.com