Monday, March 4, 2013

What's Your Story?

Yesterday when I was sitting in Mass, Fr's Homily was about the Samaritan woman.  For those who aren't Bible scholars (myself included), it is when a Samaritan woman comes upon Jesus at the well and she is shocked when he speaks to her.  She does not recognize him as the Son of God at the well but as Fr. poignently pointed out, even though she had 5 husbands and was not currently married in her relationship (which was scandolous in Bible times), Jesus accepted her where she was.

He wanted to know her story (even though he already knew it)

He didn't try and change her

He didn't tell her how to live her life better or differently

He just accepted her where she was right then

He cared about her story

As I lunched with old friends after Mass, I looked around the table and realized that we can know people for years but never know their story. 

Adoption came up in the conversation because my friend is a widower and wanted his wife to adopt the kids she is now mother to and is raising with him.  They were baffled by the changing of birth certificates (as it would wipe out the original mother's name which they thought was unacceptable).  In addition, the social security for the children would be lost.

Another piece of the adoption puzzle I only understood by hearing their story.

 I was explaining to these same friends about the current adoptee rights bills and my upcoming meeting with  our representative regarding opening birth certificates to the adoptees who have no access.

For the first time, I was able to confidentally explain my story and why this was important to me and how people outside adoption do not really understand what it is like to actually "live" adoption in the same way that adopted people do.


What's your story?

3 comments:

  1. You know my story, so I won't share it all here but I will just say thank you for all that you do for adoptees and adoptee rights.

    I love and appreciate you.

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  2. Lynne, your post really touched me with the simplicity of our issues.

    My First Mother passed away while searching for me to give me important medical information. She signed up on "mutual consent" registries but they were unsuccessful because she was not allowed to hold me after giving birth and was told I was a boy. Many times "amended" (falsified) birth certificates even have different birth dates, places of birth, and of course, different names as our parents, even though it is a government document of "live birth". There are no laws in place to ensure original birth certificates are accurate, and I've heard of today's open adoptions where the first mother is encouraged in the hospital to write the names of the intended adoptive parents on the original birth certificate, even before an adoption is finalized and an amended birth certificate issued. These adoptees will never have an accurate birth certificate, sealed or not. :( These laws need to change, pronto.

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    1. Hi Peach . . sorry so late in responding to your comment. I absolutely agree that adoptive parents' names should never be on the birth certificate. It is a BIRTH certificate, not an ADOPTION certificate. That is so wrong to alter the records. Just another way to get around facing the truth of the situation. Ugh.

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