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Showing posts from June, 2014

The Well-Adjusted Adoptee (and tips on how to raise one)

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I listened to my neighbor describe her two adopted relatives this week, describing the female cousin as "never acknowledging adoption is an issue and never caring at all about searching"  She described the sibling of this cousin as the one "who has a more difficult time of accepting his adoptedness"  Hearing this made me think to myself,

"I bet she thinks the one who never wanted to search or considers adoption a non- issue is the better adjusted one than the one who had difficulties accepting his adoptedness." 

 The non-adopted have an idea that a well-adjusted adoptee will mold right into the adoptive family without any problems at all; where in fact I would venture to say the opposite can also be true.  The adoptee who  proclaims adoption means nothing or never questions how being adopted affects her identity and relationships  or never wonders how she became part of this particular family may be really showing signs of denial or may be displaying peop…

Ohio's New Adoption Records Law and Adoption Network Cleveland expanding support group to Miami Valley/Dayton area

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We have 9 months before adopted adults born between 1-1-64 and 9-17-96 can begin to order their adoption files from the state of Ohio.  Even though I am not an Ohio adoptee, Ohio has been my home for four and a half decades and I am ecstatic that my adopted friends will be able to access their adoption files next year.   This is a right that has been a long-time coming.

You can begin to order your adoption files by mail only on March 20, 2015.  Do not mail your requests before this date as they will not be considered prior to opening day.

I want to personally thank my Representative Jim Butler, Chair, House Judiciary Committee for supporting Senate Bill 23 and for speaking with me and two other adult adoptees about our concerns and opinions at the beginning of this journey. He was supportive and informative and has renewed my faith in our legislative process.


I am also excited to announce a new Adoption-Related Support Meeting being held in my hometown, Dayton, Ohio.  Becky Drinnen an…

What To Do When Your Birth Mother Refuses Contact or Vital Information

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This topic has become dear to my heart because as many of you know who read my blog, I have been in a position to be refused information.  Actually that is the story of my whole life as an adoptee -- being refused information, so you would think I would be used to it by now!

However, God blessed me with a tenacity of steel and many smart friends who are also tenacious, information seekers.  One of my friends and I found a birth mother yesterday in less than a few hours, and located her Facebook profile, complete with pictures of all family members.  You can literally go from zero to 100 when it comes to adoption reunion.  (I use the term "reunion" loosely as the term covers any finding of information, just not a meeting of people).

So today I want to write about what to do when you hit a road block.  One of the biggest road blocks of all is spending most of your life fantasizing about your birth mother and then being smacked in the face with the realization that she has ref…