Lynn Grubb

A few years back, I submitted a story about my two mothers to a book that is still awaiting publication. When I wrote that story, it was filled with humor about how my two mothers are opposite and how it is strange having two "moms" and that you need to call the two women different things-- (the one who raised me should be called "mom"; whereas the one who didn't should be called "mother"). I discussed some rules in my story, like "you should never talk positively about one mother to the other mother" because it leaves the door open for snide commentary.  Thinking back on that story, I wanted to make light of a heavy topic of the concept of who is the "real mother?"  Today I want to discuss this concept in a more direct way. I have had people tell me in my life and comment on my blog that the people who raised me are my "real parents."  Just having someone outside of adoption or my family telling me who my real paren...

 After a long two and a half month wait, my 23 and me DNA results are finally in.   When I first log in to the Ancestry Info, the first thing I see is “European/Irish”.   Hmm.    The only place Irish has ever come up in my history   is on my maternal side on my adoption   paperwork which I assumed was in error (probably was an error considering the pathetic record keeping of the time). My family tree on my mother’s side has not shown any Irish as of yet, but these ancestry results are from 500 years back according to 23 and Me.   So I’m newly Irish. Here are the results: I’m not surprised my results show more European as I’ve always suspected my father is European but with one line of his tree being Spanish or Mexican or Italian.    I have never wholeheartedly believed, as my adoption paperwork said, he was of Peruvian descent yet Italian born, although as mentioned in other blog posts, I did want to believe his family wa...

 I don’t read adoptive parenting books.   Ever.   When I was raising Matt, I ate up every parenting book I could get my hands on.   The library was my home away from home.   Even though many of the books were very helpful, I knew intuitively how to parent Matt.    There is something about genetics that helps you along.   I can’t put my finger on what it is, exactly, but I believe it has something to do with seeing yourself reflected back in your child.   Knowing that child is a miniature version of you and his father with a twist.    I didn’t consciously think about these things when I was raising Matt, but to know him now as an adult, I can see so much of his dad and I in him.   He has his own very different opinions many times and he is his own person, but there is an inherent acceptance of who he is, because we have no fear that we know he came from us, that he will (hopefully) have kids and continue the g...