Lynn Grubb

photo credit:  engage.synecoretech.com Today I am writing about a collaborative approach to finding one or both of your birth parents. This is especially helpful if you have already gone down the genetic genealogy/DNA testing route but you don't have close enough cousin matches to make a connection with one of your birth parents. Keep in mind that statistically, you could get a close match any day, with the number of people testing; however, there are certain adoptees, like myself who have a parent who was a recent immigrant to the U.S. that may prevent you from getting close enough matches in a timely fashion.  For example, you will be looking in your DNA, and see all sorts of distant cousins from Italy, but you just can't pinpoint who that parent is, because you only have clues, and not cousin matches close enough to begin investigating their genealogy. But looking at your ancestry breakdown, you realize that this parent is at least 1/4 Italian, maybe even 1/2 Italia...

A pattern I have noticed when speaking with my fellow adoptees is how narcissism (narcissistic parents or just narcissistic thinking) can easily creep into adoption.  In fact, the adoption system is a minefield of narcissistic thinking. What are you talking about, Lynn? Stay with me here. Let's start with a brief definition of narcissism.  I am not going to quote the DSM  here -- we will leave that to the psychologists and social workers.  I am going to talk about narcissism in plain English.  These traits are common in narcissistic people or systems: * lack of accountability, abuse of power and lack of transparency * sense of entitlement * lacking in empathy and ethics * secrecy * magical thinking  * all about the image, not about the truth * making friends with people in high places * lying * corruption/greed *objectifying others for own gain In studying narcissism over the past 20 years, I have noticed many parallels to adoption that ...

Jenessa Simons I was disheartened today to read comments to an article about Jenessa Simons who was looking for her birth parents in Utah.  It just never ceases to amaze me as to how many myths, opinions and blatant ill-regard for our fellow man, that is present on comment boards on each and every adoption-related article I read. Je nessa was looking for her birth parents and used Facebook to get the word out. ( Article Here) As I was scrolling through the comments, I couldn’t believe what I was reading.  At least half of the comments were positive and supportive of Je nessa but many of them had comments that just leaped off the page for me.    Really?  You are going to chastise this person for searching for what the majority have as their birth right?  Let’s look at some of these comments. BIOLOGICAL PARENTS ARE JUST DNA (NOTHING MORE)  I have heard Dr. Laura on her radio program state this in regards...