Adoption is . . . .

Adoption is 

a concept, a belief and an action
A lack of choice and being chosen
A legal solution to a spiritual problem
A spiritual solution to a legal problem
A loving choice and a thrusting upon
A nurturing touch yet a stealing away

it saved me; yet damaged me  
Provided for me, yet took away from me
Blessed me yet cursed me
Gave me a name and took a name
It creates a chance for love to grow and a door for misunderstanding
It creates a family out of strangers and strangers out of family
It inspires and teaches and it wounds and damages

Adoption is

My friend and my enemy
A thorn in my side and my shining light
A rainbow and a gravestone
Acceptance and rejection
Truth and lies
Known and unknown
Love and hatred
a casting away and returning

Adoption is

Not the excuse or the cause
Not perfect or evil
Not the reason or the scapegoat
Not who I am or who I am not
Everything and nothing

(copyright Lynn Grubb; may reproduce with permission)


  1. wow I like your "Adoption Is" that is exactly what it's like it's a wonder any of us are sane huh? By the way what is your name? I'm Bonnie (born Bernadene) and adoptee in Australia

  2. Thank you, Bonnie:) My name is Lynn. So glad to hear from someone across the globe!

  3. well hi there Lynn how is life for you now? Bonnie :0)

  4. I will echo the WOW for the "Adoption Is" you nailed us!!!!

  5. Wow Lynn, That is really beautiful. i teach an adoption class and would love to read your poem (giving you all the credit, of course) to my class. Is that O.K.? This is by far the best description of the complexities of adoption I have read yet

    - Melody
    I don't have a google account, but my email is

  6. Hello Melody. Thank you and yes, you may. I tried to email you; however, the email was undeliverable for some reason.