Lynn Grubb

As National Adoption Month comes to a close, I want to address a very common question that most adoptee-activists/writers/artists endure: "Why are you so obsessed with adoption or why haven't you gotten over your adoption yet?" I can only answer for myself but I am certain others have felt the same pangs of misunderstanding every time they are asked these questions, which I suspect is often. As I have stated on this blog and to people in my life, "adoption has colored and affected almost every aspect of myself from birth onward." Adoption is not just a legal status that created a forever-family. It is an action taken upon me that changed the entire course of my life. There is no pre-adoption me that I have any conscience awareness of. Kristy Lee Unger (my alter identity) never had a chance to live or exist in this world as I became Kathryn Lynn Wetherill at age 11 months at the time of my adoption finalization. This life-altering c...

photo credit:  facesandvoicesofrecovery.org I just completed Deanna Shrodes' memoir, Restored: Pursuing Wholeness When a Relationship is Broken , over the weekend.  It could not have come at a better time. Both my husband and I are currently going through some personal issues at work that have been very difficult to cope with, especially since they are occurring at the same time.  Deanna's book reminded me of some of the basic principals in understanding people, trauma and reminding me and her audience that when you have lost something of value you desperately wanted or had at one time, there is hope on the other side -- that God won't replace that thing or relationship you lost or never had in exactly the same way, but there will be an abundant blessing coming your way in the future. I have experienced this phenomena this week when I lost something that was very important to our family, and within several days, it had been replaced two-fold. I am completely in awe...

I have seen Kristen Chenoweth live at the Women of Faith tour in Columbus, Ohio.  I admire Kristen’s musical talents and abilities.    I respect that she loves her parents and that she believes that her adoption is the biggest blessing of all. However, I just cannot bear that on National Adoption Day she thinks it is o.k. to refer to herself as “an adopted child," tell future adoptive parents that their child is a gift and that they were chosen to be their child’s parents.  I cannot bear that she describes herself as “chosen” in 2015 and tries to tell other adoptees how to feel.  She writes: “And then, lastly as an adopted child I encourage other adoptees to remember what blessed lives we have. We weren't abandoned; we were chosen. We were given a chance. I'm not saying it's not hard or that it's easy for people to understand. But it really isn't for the world to understand; it's for the people who are involved.” Not every adoptee had a blessed...

I was searching through a notebook and came across these words.  I don't remember when I jotted them down, but I decided to put them in a meme and use this meme for National Adoption Month on my Facebook page.  Lots of people reacted to it.  Many people commented underneath it as to how they were still too afraid to share they own personal stories of adoption, reunion, loss and gain. I started to look back on my own journey of adoption and how I have progressed from good kid ("well adjusted adoptee") who rarely got in trouble, to the "outspoken, angry, adoptee" I have transformed into. Truth is, I'm not angry today.  It's the beginning of my weekend and I woke up inspired to write. However the misconception is alive and well that adoptees who "speak out" are viewed as angry, and ungrateful for all they have been given.  When really adoptees who speak out should be viewed as brave. And while we are on that topic, here are some other comm...