Lynn Grubb

  I was recently chatting with Jennifer Ghosten, podcaster over at Once Upon a Time in Adopteeland and she mentioned something that has been on my mind. It was the topic of healing.    I have always been of the belief that we may never completely heal from complex trauma caused by relinquishment; in fact, the world has yet to recognize that adoptees as a minority group have complex trauma.    However, I am committed to move toward healing by facing my fears, examining my triggers and processing the grief surrounding my adoption.  Once we can uncover who we are genetically, learn and understand many of the missing pieces of our heritage, our work is not complete.   If you consider yourself someone who leans toward a growth mindset, then you may want to attempt to uncover any false beliefs you hold lurking around and cause suffering. We all carry around false beliefs that were taught to us by our families, society, religion and people we have close contact with.    In my own healing jou

It was January of 1987 and I had just turned 21.  My long-term relationship was over and I stopped taking the pill.  Not long after, I found myself hanging over the toilet at work throwing up.  A co-worker who heard me helpfully suggested, “You better take a pregnancy test.” My roommate and I watched as the red line of the pregnancy test turned dark. The fear and disapproval of my parents loomed large and thoughts of birth, parenting or adoption not anywhere on my radar. With adrenaline fueled urgency, I called the Woman’s Clinic and scheduled the abortion right away. I was fortunate.   I had a job and a supportive partner.   We could afford to pay for the procedure out of pocket.   I was not forced into an unwanted ultrasound or a time-delay.   Roe v. Wade, Planned Parenthood and several clinics in my area provided options.  I decided to have the procedure done close to home.  This right protected me so when I was ready to have children later, I was still able to. ( Abortion is safe

Hey adoption friends! I am giving a Zoom presentation this Friday (June 3) as it relates to my newly released audible memoir, "Hidden Identity."  I will share who/what inspired me to document and share my journey in addition to sharing lots of photos. I will not be telling my actual adoption story ( listen for free to hear that) but will be sharing back stories about the memoir process, interviews, research and share stores/photos about The Cradle Adoption Agency and of course, some tidbits about  my biological father.  After the presentation, I will answer any questions you have.   If you want to listen to the memoir, go to my podcast The Adoption Experience and start with the Introduction.  You can find it at Podbean, Spotify or Apple podcasts. For those wondering, I may eventually publish the full version (the podcast is a condensed version) as an E-book, but for now I am enjoying the spring planting in my yard and visiting with out of town family.  If you are adopted a

    “Walking, I am listening to a deeper way.   Suddenly, all my ancestors are behind me. Be still, they say.   Watch and listen.   You are the result of the love of thousands.” Linda Hogan, Native American writer I was listening to this podcast yesterday where Ande of The Adoption Files interviewed adoptee Becky Drinnen.   As Becky shared the long meandering road to understanding her identity, beginning in her early 20’s and culminating in her 50’s, something really struck me that the two were discussing:   every bit of information we receive about our birth family and our history, no matter how seemingly insignificant to somebody else, matters and helps to build a more cohesive narrative.   And even though the search and reunion process may not take so long for some, given the quick nature of consumer DNA testing , the journey of discovery can continue for a lifetime.   It seems there is no end to the discoveries available as more data is loaded into genealogy websites and mor

DNA Game Changer (Part I of II) THOUGHTS ON THE BIRTH PARENT PRIVACY ARGUMENT by Gaye Sh erman Tannenbaum o riginally published at the Adoptee Rights Coalition website. NOTE:  New York State has opened its original birth certificates since the writing of this article. Legislative efforts to restore access to original birth certificates have, unfortunately, focused prim arily on search and reunion. Emotional testimony from adoptees, first parents and "adoption experts" have been countered by equally emotional testimony and speeches by agencies, legislators, and other "adoption experts".  There is talk of "balancing the rights" and "compromise" as if any other individual's rights to his or her OWN record of birth is also subject to permission from the state, a judge, or the parents named thereon.  Advocates focusing on restoring the right to access birth records have tried to keep the two separate, pointing out that, in most states, even reuni

Adoptees Respond to "Stories from the Red Couch,"  an adoption  fundraising documentary.

I see private U.S. adoption as a legalized form of child trafficking with a better PR campaign. Of course, this is not politically correct to say out loud.  And it can garner you a lot of hate on the internet.  Saying it can make you wildly unpopular.  I still think it’s true. “It was a big disappointment to the family when you were adopted” my grandmother non-chalantly said to me while sitting side-by-side on the couch.   I glanced up from my Nancy Drew mystery, frowned quizzically at her, and went back to reading. I never felt unwanted by my adoptive parents, so her words did not land on my heart.   Grandma had hell to pay later when both my parents lit into her.   How dare she point out the obvious?   She wanted a blood grandchild and these two stand-ins weren’t cutting it. Adoption is beautiful.   A better life.   A selfless act. While the adoptive parent is given public admiration, the adopted child is frozen in time.   Their bodies grow, yet their voices become dimmer.   Once