Lynn Grubb

When Our Communities Let Us Down Five Things to Consider As someone who has been “all in” with a community, I have begun to feel that I am moving away from it. It surprised me that I went from being so passionate to now feeling “meh” about it.   For the last six months, after taking a new position at a local non-profit, I have been contemplating many things about my former community.   I say former because I feel like I am standing outside of it with one foot still there, but my heart and soul are reaching beyond its borders. Why does this happen?   Did the community let me down or is it something about me that has changed?   Of course, I can only speak from my own personal experience with communities, religious and non-religious alike, but since the adoption community is the one since childhood that I have been part of the longest, I will focus on that.   Here are five areas that I have explored internally but haven’t had a chance to put them out into...

The resident baker made this ho-ho cake for my birthday-chocolate sponge cake with cream, topped with chocolate ganache Today is my birthday.  I no longer feel angst about it as I have in years past, due to the questions surrounding my birth and adoption.  All that is water under the bridge.  Today is just a day that I happen to be born on.  A day to eat cake with the family I love. I have been pondering this:  “Should I archive my blog?”  I used to be so passionate about writing about adoption, but honestly, for now, I have run out of things to say on the topic. This appears to be a crossroad.   Should I scrap the blog or just change the direction of the blog?   Is blogging even a thing anymore? I do have one post on Medium.  Pondering moving my writing over to that platform. Also considered Substack or Threads.   I have enjoyed doing the  podcast  but that seems to have run its course too since I am no lon...

 Ande Stanley of The Adoption Files and I discuss our deceased biological fathers and how we would love to learn more about them.   If you happen to know one of our fathers, please email Lynn at theadoptedgenealogist@gmail.com.

Photo credit:   Adoptees United, Inc. By Lynn Grubb, President, Adoptee Rights Coalition California born-and-adopted people have been waiting a long time for unrestricted access to their original birth certificates.  Ever since 2019, when New York restored unrestricted access to adoptees , ending 83 years of inequality, Adoptionland has been holding it’s breath that California would follow suit. California’s current laws are some of the most restrictive in the country and endorse shame and secrecy from a bygone era. With  95 % of adoptions having some form of openness , California adoptees rightfully expect to be treated as equal citizens. Under current law, the only way to obtain an adopted person’s original birth certificate (OBC) is to petition a judge for a court order after proving good cause. It was a happy day when on February 16, 2024, California Senate Bill 1274 was introduced by Senator Susan Talamantes Eggman , Chair of the Senate Health Committee. Sen. E...

  “Caught in the Middle” By Julie Ryan McGue The needle on my inner compass leans towards positive. So, when I consider my adoption, I tease out two things for which I can be grateful. In the Baby Scoop Era during which I was adopted, the firm policy at Catholic Charities was to place multiples in the same adoptive family. I can’t imagine advancing through life without my identical twin sister as a collaborator, confidante, and co-conspirator. And I’m glad I waited until I became a middle-aged woman with scores of lived experiences before tackling adoption search and reunion. Adopted together as infants, we seemed always to have known about our adoption. Ours was a closed adoption, so our adoptive parents were given no information about our first family. Two years later, our parents adopted a little boy, and then as so often happens, my mother’s infertility issues abated. By the time we became teenagers, my twin and I were the oldest of six, a blended family of three adoptees and t...

*Adoptee Tik Tok *Legislative Summit 2023 in Indianapolis * Concerned United Birth Parents retreat 2023 *Celia Center adoption conference Nov 10, 11 2023 *Adoptee Rights 101 *Real ID complications (and passport update!) *Adoptee Remembrance Day- 11/30/23 *National Adoption Awareness Month  Show Notes:  NAAP Adoption Happy Hour:  https://naapunited.org/adoption-happy-hour  Preorder the book: "Relinquished: The Politics of Adoption and the Privilege of American Motherhood."  https://www.amazon.com/Relinquished-Politics-Adoption-Privilege-Motherhood/dp/1250286778/ref=sr_1_1crid=2A50CHXAVR2JZ&keywords=relinquished%3A+The+politics+of+adoption&qid=1699013928&s=books&sprefix=relinquished+the+politics+of+adoption%2Cstripbooks%2C74&sr=1-1  Celia Center adoption conference:  https://celia-center-adoption-constellation.mn.co/plans/339536?bundle_token=9059baf90d541a7b894e633227303955&utm_source=manual%20noopener  Real ID ...

I was honored to attend the Legislative Summit in August of 2023 and wrote about it at the  Adoptee Rights Coalition website . 

  I was recently chatting with Jennifer Ghosten, podcaster over at Once Upon a Time in Adopteeland and she mentioned something that has been on my mind. It was the topic of healing.    I have always been of the belief that we may never completely heal from complex trauma caused by relinquishment; in fact, the world has yet to recognize that adoptees as a minority group have complex trauma.    However, I am committed to move toward healing by facing my fears, examining my triggers and processing the grief surrounding my adoption.  Once we can uncover who we are genetically, learn and understand many of the missing pieces of our heritage, our work is not complete.   If you consider yourself someone who leans toward a growth mindset, then you may want to attempt to uncover any false beliefs you hold lurking around and cause suffering. We all carry around false beliefs that were taught to us by our families, society, religion and people we have close...

Hey adoption friends! I am giving a Zoom presentation this Friday (June 3) as it relates to my newly released audible memoir, "Hidden Identity."  I will share who/what inspired me to document and share my journey in addition to sharing lots of photos. I will not be telling my actual adoption story ( listen for free to hear that) but will be sharing back stories about the memoir process, interviews, research and share stores/photos about The Cradle Adoption Agency and of course, some tidbits about  my biological father.  After the presentation, I will answer any questions you have.   If you want to listen to the memoir, go to my podcast The Adoption Experience and start with the Introduction.  You can find it at Podbean, Spotify or Apple podcasts. For those wondering, I may eventually publish the full version (the podcast is a condensed version) as an E-book, but for now I am enjoying the spring planting in my yard and visiting with out of town family....

    “Walking, I am listening to a deeper way.   Suddenly, all my ancestors are behind me. Be still, they say.   Watch and listen.   You are the result of the love of thousands.” Linda Hogan, Native American writer I was listening to this podcast yesterday where Ande of The Adoption Files interviewed adoptee Becky Drinnen.   As Becky shared the long meandering road to understanding her identity, beginning in her early 20’s and culminating in her 50’s, something really struck me that the two were discussing:   every bit of information we receive about our birth family and our history, no matter how seemingly insignificant to somebody else, matters and helps to build a more cohesive narrative.   And even though the search and reunion process may not take so long for some, given the quick nature of consumer DNA testing , the journey of discovery can continue for a lifetime.   It seems there is no end to the discoveries available as mo...

DNA Game Changer (Part I of II) THOUGHTS ON THE BIRTH PARENT PRIVACY ARGUMENT by Gaye Sh erman Tannenbaum o riginally published at the Adoptee Rights Coalition website. NOTE:  New York State has opened its original birth certificates since the writing of this article. Legislative efforts to restore access to original birth certificates have, unfortunately, focused prim arily on search and reunion. Emotional testimony from adoptees, first parents and "adoption experts" have been countered by equally emotional testimony and speeches by agencies, legislators, and other "adoption experts".  There is talk of "balancing the rights" and "compromise" as if any other individual's rights to his or her OWN record of birth is also subject to permission from the state, a judge, or the parents named thereon.  Advocates focusing on restoring the right to access birth records have tried to keep the two separate, pointing out that, in most states, even reuni...